
Menarche; Tips for Parents
Break the cycle to make the cycle!
Menarche refers to your first period, or your first time menstruating.
This time for your child is a step towards adulthood. The way we talk about, and prepare our young ones for their period can have a really positive impact on the way they see and feel about themselves and their periods for many years, if not forever.
We have come a long way in recent years but we still have some work to do to reduce the shame and stigma that still exists. We say “we” because it is one of our missions at Sea + Flo but we can't do it alone! A lot of the shame and stigma and lack of education that exists is generational, so it's up to us to break the cycle. The more we normalise the conversations, well, the more normal and comfortable they become!
In a recent report from Plan UK....
48% of girls said they felt embarrassed by their period, rising to 56% of 14 year olds
49% have missed an entire day of school because of their period
70% of girls not allowed to use the toilet during lesson times
Menstrual shame can lead to body shame, low self esteem, which in extreme cases can lead to disordered eating, self harm, and risk taking behaviour. This is something we really want to work on diminishing. After all, your period is the sign of a healthy body that is functioning exactly as it should.
It starts with you...
In order for us to speak openly and positively about menstruation with our children, we may need to first look inwards at our own ingrained beliefs, views, and stigmas we may have surrounding ourselves including our anatomy and menstruation.
A really great exercise is to recall your first period if you had one, maybe even write it down.
For the dads...(or non menstruaters)
If you dont menstruate then its just as important to be open, honest and supportive about what your child is experiencing. Its not somehting that comes easy to many, which is worth delving into why.
It's still a good exercise to think back to when you were younger and the things that were said or how you felt about your peers/siblings menstruation. Did you learn that it was something to mock or tease about?
What did this teach you about being a woman (was it that they are unhygeinic or dirty?). Maybe you witnessed your own dad poking fun at the women in your life, commenting on their mood and using crass language, or even ignoring it altogether something to not discuss, taboo or secretive.
It's worth knowing that the message that you got then, you most likely carried with you into adulthood.
Think about how that's played out in your life and the way you view menstruation.
This could be something you use to share with your child, or you could use it to reflect upon and rewrite your story, and change the narrative for the better.
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Start Early
Having conversations early and being open to questions is really beneficial. Some girls get their first period as young as 9 or 10 years old, so if they know what to expect and feel prepared for it then all the better. How frightening it must be for the girls whose period arrives and they have no idea what it is, (14% of girls have reported that they had no idea what it was and reported feeling scared, shocked and embarrassed or some even thinking they were going to die when their period first arrived!).
Children will ultimately have many questions and it's best to answer them honestly and openly, and if you don't know, what a great opportunity to learn together.
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The Options
Discuss the options for their period care, they may have an idea of what they would like to use or what they feel most comfortable with already from either peers, media, school, or from you.
It's best not to push your child to use a product that you think is best before they are ready.
Some may want to start with pads or period pants but then want to move on to something like a menstrual cup when they start to feel like they're missing out on swimming or beach days with friends. Others may be ready to jump into using a menstrual cup from the beginning. There is no age for readiness, it is an individual preference, best to take the lead from your child.
The Language We Use...
By using the correct terminology for body parts menstrual cycle, it stamps out any confusion or embarrassment, and therefore reduces stigma and taboo.
Knowledge is power.
If you have any questions or we can support in any way for you or your child please do get in touch on hello@seaandflo.com