Learning to Let Go of Menstrual Shame

If you’ve been with us for a while, you’ll know that we talk a lot about shame, stigma and education (or lack of), and this is because we see it, everyday. 

In women that are nervous to talk to us about using a cup, in every cringe, euphemism, and hush tone that we hear, and even in the teenagers who declared to us proudly that they felt no shame… but then went on to tell us that the boys used to throw the free period products available around the classroom to tease them (so now they're locked away) and that they discreetly open period product packaging in the toilets so that no one hears… and not to mention in many men who Just. Can't. Deal. 

For a long time, many of us have been taught, directly or indirectly, that our menstrual cycle is something to hide. Something to be quiet about. Something to get through without making too much of a fuss. But truth is that periods are a normal part of many bodies, and understanding them better can make such a difference to how we feel about ourselves, beyond our period

In one UK survey* 58% of women said they had felt ashamed of their periods, 42% said they had experienced period-shaming, and nearly three-quarters said they hid pads or tampons on the way to the bathroom. More recently, a large 2026 UK study found that more than one in five women did not know their cycle length, and among women under 25, one in three could not report it, showing that many people still do not feel fully informed about their own menstrual cycles. 

This can affect confidence, body image, and even whether we feel comfortable asking for help. 

The message we want to share: shame is not inevitable. It can be unlearned. 

Where shame begins

For a lot of us, menstrual shame started early. Maybe it came from a rushed school lesson, an awkward conversation, a parent who didn’t really know how to explain things, or jokes that made periods seem embarrassing or dirty. Maybe we were taught to whisper the word “period,” hide products in our sleeves, or act as though bleeding was something gross or dirty.

Sometimes shame is passed down so quietly that we barely notice it until much later. We may realise we have spent years treating our bodies as inconvenient or frustrating, rather than simply human. And once we notice that, we can begin to change it.

How shame can show up

Shame around the menstrual cycle isn’t always obvious, take the teenagers who really didn't see their experience as being linked to shame. Sometimes it is very subtle. It can look like:

• Feeling embarrassed buying pads or tampons.
• Hiding pain or discomfort.
• Apologising for needing rest.
• Avoiding conversations about periods.
• Not really knowing how your cycle works because you have never felt comfortable paying attention to it.

Sometimes shame also shows up as disconnection. You may know you have periods, but not really feel in touch with what your body is telling you from month to month. Disconnection is common, and it is not your fault.

Getting curious instead of critical

One of the kindest ways to start shifting menstrual shame is to move from judgement to curiosity. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” it helps to ask, “What is my body trying to tell me?”

That might mean noticing:

• How long your cycle usually is.
• What symptoms you get before your period.
• Whether your energy changes at certain points in the month.
• What feels normal for you, and what doesn’t.

You don’t have to track everything perfectly. You don’t need to become obsessed with your cycle. Even a little awareness can help you feel more connected and less confused by what your body is doing.

Where did the shame come from?

If shame has been sitting with you for a long time, it can help to gently explore where it began. We think these are useful questions to ask:

• What did I learn about periods growing up?
• Was anyone around me uncomfortable talking about bodies?
• Did I ever feel teased, dismissed, or embarrassed?
• Was I taught that menstrual blood was something to hide?

This is not about blaming anyone. It is about connecting the dots and understanding the messages we absorbed, so we can start choosing different ones for ourselves going forward.

What helps

There is no single right way to feel better about your cycle, but small changes can make a real difference.

Some things that may help:

• Use clear, simple language. Say “period” without apologising for it.
• Keep menstrual products easy to find and easy to use.
• Learn the basics of your cycle so it feels less mysterious.
• Remind yourself that pain, bleeding, and change are not signs of weakness.
• Talk to someone safe and supportive if you feel stuck in shame.
• Treat your body with the same kindness you would offer a friend.

We also think it helps to remember that positivity does not have to mean loving every part of your cycle all the time. Sometimes the goal is simply to feel neutral, informed, and respectful toward your body. That can be a huge shift on its own.

A kinder way forward

Even for us personally, since starting Sea + Flo, our knowledge has diminished some of the shame still hung on to…that we hadn’t even realised we still had.

Over time, menstrual shame can reduce when we stop treating periods as something secret or embarrassing and start treating them as part of ordinary life. The more we understand our bodies, the less power shame has.